You guys probably know this by now. Usually, I’m a happy camper. At the moment though, I’m not so happy. And my camper is
stuck in the mud.I’m feeling zapped. Like I’m spinning my wheels a bit, and I just can’t get back on track. I feel like I’m just going through the motions right now.
paint this blah blah blah…
hammer that yada yada yada.
I don’t know. Just feels meh. I have a longstanding tradition of traveling through the weeds every now and then. I go into pondering mode. I think about the meaning of life. Whether I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing. Am I helping enough? Am I making a difference? Am I living up to my potential? And typically, when I’m taking this familiar test with my sharpened #2, the correct answer to fill in is always D. NONE OF THE ABOVE.
And I start feeling like this…
But being in exasperated mode is kind of tiring. So I’ll decide it’s time to put the pjs on and I crawl into self-pity mode. Actually, that’s just a bold-faced lie. I was already wearing the pj’s. Regardless, self-pity mode never lasts too long for me. Why?
I have a superhuman bitch-slap mode.
She gets all up in my face “WTH are you complaining about?” bitch-slap mode will sneer at me. “You have NOTHING to be down about.” “You’ve GOT to be kidding me with this whining crap. That’s ridiculous.” And then bitch-slap mode will make me take the sheet off from over my head. She’ll yank me out of bed and open the shades. And force me to look around. And turn on the news. Then she’ll say, “SEE. I told you to stop whining. Look at all this sewage others are being forced to wade through, and you’re complained about a little mud?” And she’s right. That bitchy bitch-slap lady is always right. So I don’t afford myself the luxury of hanging out in the self-pity zone too long.
So from self-pity mode, I kind of run straight into staring into space mode.
And this very mode is where I happen to be at this precise moment. Staring at a screen and thinking, “WTH should I write about?” I dunno. So, here’s my ask.
what can I do for you?
Tell me. I will NOT be publicizing this post. I’m only sending it to you, the members of our little flock. What can I show you, teach you, make for you? Is there anything I told you I’d write about and haven’t done it yet? Is there anything you NEVER want me to write about again (i.e. this very post)…TELL ME. LEAVE ME A COMMENT. Or two comments. Please break my stare. I need to get off my duff, take a shower, and become a functioning member of society today.
So first things first, I’m going to grab more coffee, and do some daily affirmation. Like this…
And now for that shower.
Screw it. Think I’ll go eat lunch instead.