You guys probably know this by now. Usually, I’m a happy camper. At the moment though, I’m not so happy. And my camper is
stuck in the mud.
By Ben Townsend (Flickr: Stuck Camper 1) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
paint this blah blah blah…
hammer that yada yada yada.
I don’t know. Just feels meh. I have a longstanding tradition of traveling through the weeds every now and then. I go into pondering mode. I think about the meaning of life. Whether I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing.
Am I helping enough? Am I making a difference? Am I living up to my potential? And typically, when I’m taking this familiar test with my sharpened #2, the correct answer to fill in is always D. NONE OF THE ABOVE.
And I start feeling like this…
exasperated mode.
But being in exasperated mode is kind of tiring. So I’ll decide it’s time to put the pjs on and I crawl into self-pity mode. Actually, that’s just a bold-faced lie. I was already wearing the pj’s. Regardless, self-pity mode never lasts too long for me. Why?
I have a superhuman bitch-slap mode.
She gets all up in my face “WTH are you complaining about?” bitch-slap mode will sneer at me. “You have NOTHING to be down about.” “You’ve GOT to be kidding me with this whining crap. That’s ridiculous.” And then bitch-slap mode will make me take the sheet off from over my head. She’ll yank me out of bed and open the shades.
And force me to look around. And turn on the news. Then she’ll say, “SEE. I told you to stop whining. Look at all this sewage others are being forced to wade through, and you’re complained about a little mud?” And she’s right. That bitchy bitch-slap lady is always right. So I don’t afford myself the luxury of hanging out in the self-pity zone too long.
So from self-pity mode, I kind of run straight into staring into space mode.Â
And this very mode is where I happen to be at this precise moment. Staring at a screen and thinking, “WTH should I write about?” I dunno. So, here’s my ask.
what can I do for you?
Tell me. I will NOT be publicizing this post. I’m only sending it to you, the members of our little flock. What can I show you, teach you, make for you? Is there anything I told you I’d write about and haven’t done it yet?
Is there anything you NEVER want me to write about again (i.e. this very post)…TELL ME. LEAVE ME A COMMENT. Or two comments. Please break my stare. I need to get off my duff, take a shower, and become a functioning member of society today.
So first things first, I’m going to grab more coffee, and do some daily affirmation. Like this…
And now for that shower.
Screw it. Think I’ll go eat lunch instead.
Dezyndiva says
Wait, aren’t you the one with the wonderful life? the cute kids? the handy husband? the perfect house and garden?
Write and tell us about that gratefulness, how you can see the little green sprouts popping up in the yard, the sun peeking thru, the long list of “stuff you gotta get done, now that winter is over”. Cruise over to some of your vintage stores with cool stuff, take pictures, tell us how much you’d like us to be on this shopping trip to see what you’ve discovered!
We love being on this journey with you. Come on girl, you got this!
Heather says
Ha 😉 No one has a perfectly wonderful life all the time, right Becky? Always makes me a bit suspicious when people seem like they are happy 100% of the time. I’m always grateful, but I think that sometimes, we have to kind of get in the pig trough to realize how grateful we are that we don’t have to spend all our time there, you know? There are no highs without lows, so I’m grateful for both (although I prefer the highs 😉 I love all your ideas, Becky. Will have to take some and run with them. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and share some of your thoughts and ideas…it is so very appreciated!!
Marty@A Stroll Thru Life says
Been there, done that. My mom use to say everyone is entitled to a 5 minute pity party. Kick, scream, have a fit, but look at your watch and at the end of 5 minutes do something constructive instead of some distructive. Best cure is to do something for someone else. It works for me every time.
Heather says
So true Marty. That works every time.
Sue says
I love anything you post about your house. Hang in there, some days are better than others. Lunch is a go to for me,too.
Heather says
That’s nice to hear, thank you Sue!